I'm not good at making decisions. I've never liked making big decisions and I never will. I'd like to think of myself as a "risk taker", but I'm fooling myself. Being indecisive is something that runs in my family as well. I remember growing up, we would argue for hours on where to eat that we always ended up at McDonald's. It took my brother years to decide to get into the medical field. It even took me a long time to decide to have another child and even longer to decide if I wanted to move to Oregon. Tonight, I'm agonizing over another fork in the road.
A few weeks ago at work, my old supervisor called me and suggested I interview for a case manager position at a agency known as Albertina Kerr (where she now works). After secretly going through the interview, I received an offer this morning. However, the offer wasn't for substantially more money. It was for a little better than what I'm doing now, but not enough to make it an easy choice.
I called Wah-Wah about the offer, and she said that if I'm really unhappy at my current job at Trillium, I should take it, otherwise it may not be worth the extra drive (it is approximately 7 miles away vs Trillium at a nice 3). I called back my supervisor and said that I would pass.
As the day went on, I began to question myself if I had made a mistake. I don't hate my job at Trillium but I know there are big changes coming down the pike (such as smaller office space). I then remember saying in the interview that I wanted to get back into case work and to have more control over a child's case. Currently, I'm in the dark about where my cases are going while others above me steer the direction of the case.
I called back my old supervisor and said that I was reconsidering and asked for a little more time to decide. She assured me that she wasn't in a hurry- but the sooner the better. I guess part of me is torn with where my loyalties are. Kerr has stolen a big portion of Trillium's business and many former staff. I also hate to have to tell the kids that I work with that I would be leaving. A lot of them, I've grown attached to and I don't want to just be another adult who says "good bye" to them.
I ask myself repeatedly if I would regret turning down a chance to get back to doing what I've always done, or would I leave a relatively stable situation for a bad situation?