Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Big decisions

I'm not good at making decisions. I've never liked making big decisions and I never will. I'd like to think of myself as a "risk taker", but I'm fooling myself. Being indecisive is something that runs in my family as well. I remember growing up, we would argue for hours on where to eat that we always ended up at McDonald's. It took my brother years to decide to get into the medical field. It even took me a long time to decide to have another child and even longer to decide if I wanted to move to Oregon. Tonight, I'm agonizing over another fork in the road.
A few weeks ago at work, my old supervisor called me and suggested I interview for a case manager position at a agency known as Albertina Kerr (where she now works). After secretly going through the interview, I received an offer this morning. However, the offer wasn't for substantially more money. It was for a little better than what I'm doing now, but not enough to make it an easy choice.
I called Wah-Wah about the offer, and she said that if I'm really unhappy at my current job at Trillium, I should take it, otherwise it may not be worth the extra drive (it is approximately 7 miles away vs Trillium at a nice 3). I called back my supervisor and said that I would pass.
As the day went on, I began to question myself if I had made a mistake. I don't hate my job at Trillium but I know there are big changes coming down the pike (such as smaller office space). I then remember saying in the interview that I wanted to get back into case work and to have more control over a child's case. Currently, I'm in the dark about where my cases are going while others above me steer the direction of the case.
I called back my old supervisor and said that I was reconsidering and asked for a little more time to decide. She assured me that she wasn't in a hurry- but the sooner the better. I guess part of me is torn with where my loyalties are. Kerr has stolen a big portion of Trillium's business and many former staff. I also hate to have to tell the kids that I work with that I would be leaving. A lot of them, I've grown attached to and I don't want to just be another adult who says "good bye" to them.
I ask myself repeatedly if I would regret turning down a chance to get back to doing what I've always done, or would I leave a relatively stable situation for a bad situation?


GoldenSunrise said...

Pray about it. I have a hard time with decisions also. It looks like Wah-Wah is supportive either way.

Achtung BB said...

I just spoke with my current supervisor about my decision and she would definately match the pay raise and asked me to write a new job proposal for Trillium agency. Now I'm really confused.

Achtung BB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shakedust said...

I think the issue comes down to two questions. First, what are your life goals and which of these moves will help you move in that direction? Second, what are the inherent potential dangers and benefits of each choice?

When I took my current job I actually had to choose between two job offers for very similar pay. I wrote on a piece of paper all of the pros and cons that I could think of for each job, compared them, and concluded that the job I currently have was the better choice based on what was the most important to me (and Golden). Most of it, for me, came down to inane stuff like job security and medical benefits. I still believe that I made the right choice.

For what it's worth, I don't really like big decisions either, so I know what you are saying. I'd call myself more tentative than indecisive, though, because I can and do make decisions.

T said...

It could be a tough call, but it sounds like your current boss is willing to work with you, that's pretty cool. I hope you are happy with whatever you decide. It's tough to make the "tough call" but you'll figure out what's right for you and the fam. :)

Portland wawa said...

I think golden is right. Pray about it. Only He can give you the answer.