A Little Update

It has been a while since I last blogged and that is because I've had some very tramatic things going on. Most everyone knows, but I lost my job at Wyandott Center. Yes, after 5 1/2 years of faithful service,countless volunteering on the weekends, and being one of the few people to sign up for the company softball team, I was canned.
My problems at the center started about a year ago, when my old boss JoAnne was asked to resign. JoAnne and I got along really good and I always felt like she had confidence in me. Reason why JoAnne was out nobody really understood, including herself. JoAnne was out and was replaced by Kim. Now to give you a little background, Kim happens to be the gay lover of another director in the agency. She was only with the agency a couple of years. She does not have her master's degree. Her rise to power is awfully fishy. Kim always had it in for me and I found everytime I met with her I was on the defensive.
Then several month's ago Kim annouced that my position was being eliminated and was going to be replaced by people with master's degrees which she would supervise. Again this seemed a little fishy, since she was now supervising people with a higher education then herself. Further more, it threw case managers off of managment and no hope of ever getting back in. So I asked what I was suppose to do now and I was told to go hang out with the Case Managers and make sure they are doing their job. My signature became worthless over night. I was now hanging out with the staff I use to supervise.
Then the night of the Coldplay concert, Kim asked me to come in and told me that a staff said I was being negative, but she refused to tell me who. Then she told me that I had harassed another worker by jokingly offering her a hug. This worker didn't think anything of it, because she knows my personality and was not making a issue of it. She also knows that she is 50 and I'm 31 married with kids. Besides, we are social workers, we hug. It's not like I asked to feel her up or anything. Anyway she sent me home for the rest of the week.
I had a feeling that I was a goner and became very depressed especially since I was not given a chance to talk to anyone about it. Then they told me to come in Monday morning which is never a good sign. I decided to call my good friend Dave in Iowa and asked if he wanted to come down for the weekend. His life is even more messed up than mine, but we can always joke about it. Dave came down for the weekend and helped me take my mind off work.
By Monday however I was pretty worried. I tried to tell myself that I would be OK, because I always had confidence in the center and had been a excellent employee. I had even asked for a transfer. However Monday morning they handed me my walking papers and told me to clear out. I at least got a severence package and will be paid up till the end of October.
I was devestated. I had never seen a future with out Wyandott Center. 5 1/2 years gone. How would I face my family, I was such a failure. On the way home I got a call from another co-worker at the same level as me and he told me that I wasn't alone, and that he had been fired too for lame reasons. But that was little comfort. I could see nothing but black. It was like looking in a dark tunnel with no end. All my depression and suicidal thoughts I had growing up when I was a teenager came back like a flood. I decided at that point the only thing I could do was check myself into the hospital.
I sat in a dark room for 8 hours before some one finally came to get me to tell me my wife was on the phone. I told her that I felt so lost and that I would be no good at home. By the next day, and a lot of medication later, I was feeling better and quickly got out of acute care and went to just observation. The day after that (Wed) I felt that I needed to get home and help with the kids. Plus nobody is going to hire a mental patient, so I asked the docter to release me and he did.
Being home without a job is hard. We continue to send our kids to the sitter so I can focus all my time into finding another job. I have been basically hand delivering all my resumes and got my first call back. I have a interview on Monday at Swope Park Mental Health.
I have also been considering getting out of the mental health field. It's not that I don't like it, but the pay sucks. For some reason I can't explain, I'm thought about to studying to be a postal worker. The pay is far more than I'll ever make in mental health. Plus it has promotional opportunities, a cool outfit, and a nice pension. I don't know, maybe this postal thing will go nowhere. I not sure I know what direction the Lord is calling me to. Maybe things happen for a reason. Right now I'm not very certain where I'll be.